Happy Thanksgiving 2015

Happy Thanksgiving! If you’re reading this chances are you’re my friend, family, or a very stubborn Spambot. In any case, if we’re connected on any level you should know that you’re dear to me, whether I’ve known you for 20 years or we just chat about video games. I’m thankful for you all.

It’s been a somewhat somber couple of weeks. Jessika and I just went to Europe. Prior to the trip, I was having a rough time. I felt an overwhelming sense of anxiety. I love traveling, but part of its thrill is the visceral unsettling energy of a proper, full-on journey. It’s never casual, thoughtless resort-time for me. There’s always a gut wrenching element to it. Leaving home, even for fun, should make you feel something dire or at least reflective, and for me it does every time. I guess I’m a hobbit at heart. So I’m thankful for our trip, I’m thankful to be back home, and also thankful for missing a calamity by mere weeks. My mind continues to dwell on Paris. I love that place. I kept telling Jessika “I could totally live here.” As if anyone couldn’t. I never really had Paris on my agenda, mostly because I’m dumb, and as a result its beauty and awesomeness completely blindsided me. I feel incredibly less ignorant of what life can be after visiting, and I look forward to returning.

I also lost my grandmother last week. Penny, a great grandma name, was a character in every sense of the word. Her love was fierce and at times bizarre. We share so many strange traits. Since her passing, I look into the mirror and see whispers of her on my own face. We carry them with us, whether we want to or not. As unique and special as we like to think we are, ultimately we’re at the mercy of our ancestors. Love you Penny, and I’m thankful for all you’ve given me in this life and the next. I’ll miss your insanely early birthday calls.

There’s turkey and ham to be cooked, casseroles to be concocted, cranberry sauce to plop out of the can with that wonderful vacuum-defying sound. For the first time in a long time, I’m looking forward to the holidays. Friends, family, food. Maybe some writing. Maybe some games. 2016 just over the horizon. I’m thankful for it all.